How do you deal with conflict between yourself and clients, employees, or colleagues? In this bonus episode, I’m talking to talk to you about how to communicate boundaries with those that aren’t treating you well, and when it is time to walk the fuck away.
When you start dealing with more people in your business, you will run into more conflict. You’re a human dealing with humans. Maybe you are a difficult person to work with, but take a look at the people around you. Are you a larger business that works with a lot of independent contractors? Do you have a full team that you works with? Are you working with people that aren’t for you? If conflict is happening often, take a look at these areas.
When you are in conflict, and you’ve taken a look at those areas, get into clear communication quickly. Phone or in-person is the best form of communication in my opinion. Text or email is not as effective. Talking to someone in person, or over the phone has so much more impact.
When you are ready to approach the situation with the person you are in conflict with, follow these guidelines:
State the facts
Communicate the boundaries
Enforce those boundaries.
If you do those things, and it spirals out of control, meaning if the other person responds unprofessionally without clarity, it’s time to let it go. Brush off your shoulders and walk the f*** away!
Doing the work of clear communication with someone you are in conflict with is what it takes to be a badass boss. This is what separates the girls from the women.
Again I will say, communicate the boundaries and then ENFORCE the boundaries.
Remember this quote from the ever inspiring and powerful, Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
When you are in the constant reiteration of your boundaries with someone, walk away. Enough is enough. You should not have to work that hard to be in a relationship with another human being. We are badass bosses who are up to badass things and we do NOT have time to get down in the mud with people who aren’t
Here is a tool that you can take with you today:
One thing that I ask myself when I am in an emotional state with someone else who is treating me poorly is, “How will I feel in twelve months' time?” “How will I look back on this?” “Will I care?” Oftentimes, that takes me into a space of letting it go.
Another question I ask myself is, “How can I reframe the narrative of this situation so that it feels more powerful to me?”
An example: When someone is being awful to me, I say to myself, “I am choosing to let go of something that doesn’t feel good to me.” Reframe the situation and create some language that supports you letting go and moving forward.
“Think of your emotional landscape as your resource that you have to direct towards profit-producing activities, growth mindset, joy, peace, and love. Anything that doesn’t fit into that realm, does not deserve your time an attention.”
However, when you do start to spiral, call up your coach, or someone that knows you well, and say to them “Are these things true about me?” Analyze them out loud with a person who can coach you through it, and then move forward. If there is any feedback that is coming from a negative relationship, don’t do that work with that person. Take that work and carry it to someone safe, and in that safe space, analyze it.
My coach told me this week, “It is enough of a reason to let someone go, if you just don’t think it’s working.” THAT IS ENOUGH! You do not need more of an explanation. You don’t even need to have a reason. If you feel like it’s not a fit, then its not a fit! It is very similar to dating. Would you spend time trying to prove that a romantic relationship is not working? No- you would end it!
Enough is enough, okay?
Take these tools, and practice them. Stand up for yourself and stand up for your emotional wellbeing. Enforce your boundaries.
And remember, I have your back.
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